just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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