I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
