i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize