okay pat passed out under dana's car
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
