She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That accounts for only three of the penises
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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