I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
