The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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