awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
