In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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