So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I skipped work to stalk him.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
