HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
