i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
