Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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