awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
