So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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