It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
