Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
