Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
