her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
