wakey wakey hands off snakey
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
