it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
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got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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