The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
