i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
