Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
