have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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