The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
