Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We named our party play list daddy issues
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
God, I missed his penis.
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