they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
