woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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