he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize