He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
