Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
