Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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