Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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