never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
