You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
