Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize