the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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