Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
