Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
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I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
