Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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