If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
