walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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