Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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