stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
