Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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