Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
