Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
