YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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