PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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