Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
