I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
