someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
