you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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