yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
