I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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