My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
