we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
