And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
