she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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