I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
