My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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